After graduation, as “real life” loomed ahead of me, I began to question: “What am I supposed to do with my life? What is my purpose? How does God want me to spend my love?”
At various points along my journey, thoughts about religious life would pop up, but I would quickly squelch them. “Oh no, I’m not holy enough for that! No one does that anymore anyway!” Yet, I sensed that something was missing – my real purpose still unanswered.
Since my college days I had been praying the words of Mary at the Annunciation, “Lord, be it done unto me according to Thy will.” But one day, I realized that I wasn’t being truthful in that prayer of fiat. I wanted God’s will for my life, but only as long as it was identical to my own will!
In a moment of grace and surrender I was finally able to pray with utter sincerity and my whole heart, “OK Lord, may Your will be done in me, whatever it is!” An amazing peace came over me. Our founder, Cardinal O’Connor would often quote the words of St. Mother Teresa, “Give God permission.” As soon as I gave God permission to show me His will rather than my own, my calling in life was revealed!